i have fine job, intersting studies, nice family, fabulous friends, good taste for music and alcohol. if i had a man, which i adore, it probably would be too much. so i guess i shouldn't complain. it's not so easy though. i guess i'm happy. or, at least, i guess i'm not unhappy. it's something, right? i know sometning is happening, but i don't know what it is. i'd have to be sober to know. and i don't want to.